Today Friggin’ Sucked

No doubt about it, hands down, 100% friggin SUUUUUUUUUCCCCKKKKED. Let me explain. 

—I have currently plopped my big ass into a bath, in a tub that is entirely too small for my 6 ft frame, with a ‘zen infused’ bath bomb, per my husbands instructions, because I need to ‘chill TF out baby.’ (Really it was the sweetest thing, he bought the bath bombs and showered early and everything) because he knows how stressed I’ve been lately! The long and short of it is we had plans to move to Oregon this summer, but medical issues with my family back home in Wyoming caused my parents to head back that way, and they asked if we would take care of their property while they temporarily live back home. Which—of course, family is everything and our plans can wait. As for how long we’ll be here, we have zero clue. Could be a few months, could be a year, we just don’t know. And we’re planners, so as you can imagine, I’m still learning to just adjust to day by day living. In the midst of all that, moving into a home with the remains of what my parents didn’t take with them already here, and all, we found some pretty shocking news from a family member on Trevor’s side as well. So we’re stuck in limbo right now with not a damn thing to do but grin and bare it. 🙃 now, as for today specifically...

Today started fine. Got up early, watched my show (project runway season 16. Don’t judge me) in my pajamas and a cup of hot coffee. Abe and I had a wonderful morning cleaning and feeding the critters outside and watching movies;I was stoked to see how this awesomeness was going to continue! And then something just clicked, like someone somewhere had an awesomeness dial and thought it was a hoot clicking down the awesomeness a notch every hour. Sometimes that happens as moms, right? Everything is cool and they’re listening and being an angel, and then they turn into a hell raiser that only eats apples and we’re out of apples but good Lord if you stop asking I will go to the store and buy a friggin apple. 

That was today. Abel just slowly became more and more defiant, more and more difficult to wrangle back inside when he went out—which by the way, it’s 112 out dude, NO—more more unlike the sweet boy I was laying with just this morning. The crescendo came around 5, when he had gone out yet again, after I had already asked him to pick up his toys for the 17th time today, when refused to come in. Again. DUUUUUUUDE. Anyway, after I got him inside I told him one last time to pick up toys. He threw a shit fit, cried, screamed, and ran to his room. So I picked up the toys my way. He doesn’t like when mama picks up toys because if mama has to pick them up, they belong to her now. And you best believe I will put them somewhere safe and take care of them—because that’s what you do with things you care about—and you’re gonna earn em back with respect and manners. I thought he would never stop throwing a fit. 

And then the dogs ran out of food. And then, once Abel finally calmed down, he was set off again over dried pineapple. And then again over the iPad charger. And again over still not being able to get his toys. And again. And again. And again. I felt like I was stuck in some sort of endless torture chamber with a little troll that kept crying for his fire truck. And then I got in an argument with my dad, which, I thought was supposed to stop since I am a grown woman with a husband and child of my own? And Abel continued to fight me until I stuck him in a bath — a bath fixes everything. Finally he went down after 2 rounds of Wagon Wheel and a quick prayer that just asked for a better day tomorrow. 

So again, here I am, in the too small bathtub. With my zen bath bomb, and I can’t tell if it’s making me calm or just the realization that this day is finally over. Maybe both. But that does give me a seed of comfort—tomorrow is a new day, and abe will wake up with the attitude that he didn’t lose his shit today, and he will listen and mind his manners to earn his toys back, my dad and I will talk, and the world will continue to turn. I’ll wear my new ring from this fizzy bath bomb. I’ll go on about my day, doing my work, playing with Abel, etc. tomorrow is a fresh, shiny, day and I’m grateful, but right now I’m going to sit in utter defeat in this tiny tub and dream about the better tomorrow. If any of my other mama’s are feeling this right now too, sending you love, hugs, and fuzzy ring bath bombs 💓

All my love, Sammi